An Unenthusiastic Critical Examination of Chick-fil-A

In which I broach some wildly uncomfortable topics re: chicken.

Look, I don’t really want to do this, but after several sub-par visits there are some questions to be raised about Chick-fil-A.

DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER!

What’s Not Great?

  • Tough Nuggets: Listen, *sometimes* the nuggets at Chick-fil-A are amazing. The catering trays have their charms, don’t get me wrong. But SOMETIMES the nugs are like deep-fried ROCKS. Hard and tough is great for an MMA fighter or your personal injury lawyer, less so for a chunk of chicken.
  • Waffling on the Fries: On their day, the waffle fries are fairly glorious. Golden, salty, delicious. But the balance is delicate and there are times it can taste like you’re eating elaborately cut cardboard. NOT my pleasure, Chick-fil-A.
  • Spicy Chicken Sandwich: CFA has never nailed this. It’s a great idea, but the sandwich isn’t crisp (due to the extra spices?), for some reason. And that just doesn’t work.
  • Sauces: Chick-fil-A sauce is great, though not in league of Cane’s or the little-known Cook Out Special Sauce. After that, though, things fall off a cliff. Serviceable barbecue (which they disastrously tried to retool before scrapping), awful honey mustard, “zesty” Buffalo and Polynesian are a waste of everyone’s time. Like, seriously, get out my face with Polynesian sauce.
  • Salty: Everything — everything! — is Taylor Swift-level salty.
  • Grilled Nuggets: Literal garbage.
  • Lemonade: Offensive.
  • Weak Breakfast: Chicken minis? The aforementioned nuggets wrapped in undercooked dough? Sounds *delicious.* And the biscuits ain’t no Bojangle’s.
  • Closed on Sundays: Loathe to criticize here, but it’s annoying!

The Good (to Great):

  • Strips: The best item on the menu, by far. Juicy, tender and flavorful. WHY ISN’T ALL THE CHICKEN THIS GOOD?
  • Pickles: Pickles make the chicken sandwich a star.

Conclusion:
Chick-fil-A’s ultimate problem is consistency. Then again, on some level, I guess that could be said for most everything in life.

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